The Spirit of Sadness

I love Transpersonal Psychology, a field which captured my heart over a decade ago.

Transpersonal psychology validated my existence at a time in my life when more rigid forms of Western psychology defined me as broken. The focus of my Master’s thesis was, in fact, how Western psychology tends to leave thousands of individuals behind, depending on their cultural background.

If your mental state is not firmly rooted in Eurocentric ideology you’re very likely ill according to the American Psychological Association (which I happen to be a member of). If you’re Indigenous American, for example, hearing the voices of ancestors long passed isn’t necessarily considered mentally ill. Dream travel into spiritual dimensions is a common occurrence too, as are visions. According to the diagnostic standard issued by the APA, however, admitting either could earn you a direct route to psychiatry.

It’s nuanced, I’ll admit.

And the field of psychology is expanding their worldview. Little by little, progress is happening. But there is still so much ground to cover, and mistakes to apologize for, though efforts have been made.

Historically the APA has rarely taken into consideration alternative worldviews. The West, in general, has a tendency to label other cultures  as “sick” or “wrong” if they don’t check the arbitrary boxes of normal. (Normal doesn’t really exist.) In fact, only a small percentage of the planet’s cultures define mental illness as the Western Eurocentric governing body of the APA does, but somehow we are right and everyone else is wrong because…we said so, or something like that?

This practice of culture centrism has brought harm and shame to millions. There is a reason that the Indigenous American population in this country claims depression, suicide, and chemical dependency rates three times higher than any other culture. It’s the Western Eurocentric narrow-minded dualistic Cartesian system that’s flawed, not an entire population of people. It’s just more of the same: Be like us–conform–or take the pills. The message isn’t ambiguous. And all of us are subject to it to some degree.

This is serious.

Depression in this country is considered an epidemic and billions of dollars are funneled into the pockets of Big Pharma as a result. Medicating people without the guidance of a psychologist or psychiatrist is all the rage in our country’s medical community. I empathize with people who struggle with depression because I’ve been there myself. Several years ago when the roundness of my Being was forcibly stuffed into the square hole of my completely unsuited life, I declined to the point of near permanent in-bed status. I just couldn’t face the day.

I took the meds at that time, and no doubt they helped me. But psychological meds for severe depression I believe should be a bridge to get you from point A (my life is intolerable) to point B (I’ve made changes and life makes sense to me now). I had several psychologists tell me that because there was something wrong with my brain–I was depressed–I’d have to be on psychiatric meds for the rest of my life. And after months and months of taking the pills, my problems remained. There was nothing wrong with my brain that making some monumental life changes couldn’t remedy.

If I had a Time Machine.

I often wonder what would have happened if I had a professional transformational coach back then. The truth is, I was suffering burn-out from twenty years spent in veterinary medicine, a field I had outgrown. I hated what I was doing for work. It was killing me. I finally found the courage to leave, change my life, start over. Problem solved.

Was it the hardest thing I’ve ever done? You bet it was. Making that level of scorched-earth change can seem absolutely impossibly difficult. In fact, it’s so hard that few people actually ever attempt it.

Had I been professionally coached through my burn-out, rather than just asked to take a bunch of pills without changing anything fundamental, I believe I would have been able to navigate the huge transition I went through with more grace, and less trauma. (Though I don’t regret a thing, because though it was terrifying, the Stark Raving Zen odyssey was the best thing that ever happened to me.)

But because I was a successful, functional member of society who came to her therapy appointments wearing expensive clothes, not one of my mental health workers asked me to re-evaluate my life choices. They simply kept filling those prescriptions with a pat on the back, a fist pump, and a “Go get ‘em Tiger! Get back into that system and be productive!”

Don’t be afraid to try something new.

Back then, Western psychology didn’t work for me.  It failed me. I’m not saying it doesn’t work for everybody. I firmly believe in the importance of psychotherapy and there are millions of therapists out there who are evolving past the closed-minded patterns of the past. The emergence of alternative forms of psychology are strongly gaining steam in our country. Integrative psychology. Eco-Psychology. Positive psychology. Transpersonal psychology. Holistic Psychology. Somatic therapy.

The reason I feel this is so important today is that if you are one of the people struggling with crippling depression that will not release, no matter how many pills you take or doctors you see, please understand that it’s not you that’s broken. It’s your form of therapy. Try something new. It’s a personal choice. Follow your instincts. If you’re making a ton of money, but how you’re earning it is killing you, then nothing else matters but re-focusing. The cars, the house, the clothes… None of it matters but your happiness, your health, your ability to live freely, societal expectations be damned. Major Depressive Disorder (aka severe depression) is diagnosed so frequently in this country that it’s been labeled the common cold of psychopathology. Why is everyone so damn sad? Have you ever asked yourself that question?

The Spirit of Sadness

There is a Native belief that when a person is inflicted with severe depression, it means the Spirit of Sadness has descended upon them. No longer able to walk on its own, it alights on us for support. The more that person fights the Spirit–the more they battle themselves and resent the Sadness–the sadder the Spirit becomes and settles even more heavily on their shoulders.

This worldview believes that what is needed is not to battle it, but to show it compassion.

Focus on the Spirit of Sadness, and love it with all you have. Tell it you’re sorry it’s so sad. Embrace it. Tell it there’s no reason for it to be sad, because you know it’s a beautiful entity deserving of love. Compassion toward the Spirit of Sadness takes us from the role of internalizing (there’s something wrong with me) to the role of caregiver (I love you, I can carry you for awhile). Caring for the Spirit of Sadness leads to caring for yourself in a completely new way.

Trust Yourself.

Therapy for many is a necessity, indeed for many it’s the one thing standing between their life and death. But there isn’t one formula (or one pill) which fits all. Each of us responds to everything uniquely.

It’s just a matter of opening the mind, sensing the way even if it seems unconventional, and finding the path which feels right.

And, most of all, trusting in your own spirit’s wisdom to lead you there.

Much Love,

Kristy Sweetland