Self-love is a concept that not enough of us embody. The concept of saving yourself before you can save anyone else makes a large number of people visibly cringe, the guilt painfully palpable. In fact, this used to be an enormous block for me. I had such a super-hero complex, my tendency to run into every so-called burning building (in the form of other people’s lives) to drag out anyone I could reach was oppressive to me and those around me. And talk about an exhausting and ridiculous expenditure of energy. Nobody was asking to be saved! It took me awhile to learn that incessant complaining wasn’t an invitation for help, it was just a survival strategy which never shifts until a person makes the decision to transform that energy into something new. Until I learned to connect with and center into my own higher consciousness, I wasn’t in a position to “save” anyone. The only oppositions in the lives of others that I was working to “fix” were my own projections, which are those parts of ourselves so hidden we tend to project them onto others, the truth of our own life, not theirs. Not super effective in the mastery of communication.
It’s so hard to process our own self-deprecating language. It’s hard to even notice it. We become so used to spouting off about our perceived flaws or weaknesses; they become the driving force behind our lives. What if we hired a chauffeur who did nothing but turn around and shout obscenities at us, telling us we’re an idiot, incompetent, ugly even…incapable! How long would this person be under our employ, and yet so many of us do it to ourselves all the time.
The concept of self-love extends far beyond the tendency to use hurtful inner language. It leaks out into our every action, nearly impossible to recognize because it becomes an autonomic function, like breathing or pumping blood through our vessels.
Every time we doubt ourselves we’re saying, “I’m not capable.”
Every time we vow to leave a partner who we know with absolute certainty is wrong for us, and then go right back into the harmful situation, we’re saying, “My instincts are untrustworthy.”
Every time we fear moving into a place of temporary instability in order to change the course of our lives into something more vital and meaningful, we’re saying, “I’m not strong enough.”
Every time we squirm at being the center of attention, no matter how briefly, we’re saying, “I’m not worthy.”
Every time we believe we can’t reach financial abundance, we’re saying, “I don’t deserve.”
When we move into a foundation of self-love, we start to recognize all of the ways we sabotage our lives. With a new visioning we learn to believe that:
I am capable.
My instincts are trustworthy.
I’m strong enough.
I’m more than worthy.
I deserve abundance.
From this place, the Universe responds. And from the other place the Universe responds! It’s a matter of choosing, of learning to create the energy that we want more of. Our outer lives are a mirror reflection of our internal belief structures. When our lives are in complete shambles, it’s time to recognize our own power, our own divinity, and accept our ability to shift things rather than further compress into the reality of self-loathing and destructive inner dialogue, which only serves to smash into our existence like a metaphysical wrecking ball. (Which sometimes isn’t such a bad thing if it’s done in service to creating something more authentic, heart-centered and real.)
You are so loveable. Find a way to believe it.