Self-love is a complex concept.
The concept of saving yourself before you can save anyone else makes some people visibly cringe. In fact, this used to be a big block for me. I had such a superhero complex, my tendency to run into every so-called burning building (in the form of other people’s lives) to drag out anyone I could reach was oppressive to me and everyone around me.
And talk about an exhausting and ridiculous expenditure of energy. Nobody was asking to be saved! It took a Master’s degree in Psychology for me to finally learn that incessant complaining isn’t a call for help; it’s just a terrible survival strategy. Nothing ever shifts until we make the decision to transform complaints into something new.
When our complaints are internally directed…
It’s hard to honestly evaluate our own inner critic. And when it becomes deeply entrenched, it’s hard to even notice it. It becomes habitual. We can become so used to focusing on our perceived flaws or weaknesses, they become the foundation of our self-concept.
Imagine if you hired a driver who did nothing but turn around and shout obscenities at you, telling you what an idiot you were, incompetent, ugly even, and utterly incapable! How long would this person receive a paycheck from you?
But maybe you think nothing of treating yourself that way, when you believe you deserve it.
Self-loathing is sneaky.
When it gets out of hand it has the tendency to leak into our every action, nearly impossible to recognize because it becomes an automatic function, like breathing, or blood circulation. Left to its own devices, it erodes your ability to trust yourself.
Every time you doubt yourself you’re saying, “I’m not sure I’m capable.”
Every time you vow to leave a situation you know is wrong for you, but then return right back to it to your own detriment you are saying, “My instincts are untrustworthy.”
Every time you fear change, even if that change is moving you toward a life that feels more vital and meaningful, you’re saying, “I’m not strong enough.”
Every time you resist putting yourself first, you’re saying “I’m not worthy.”
Every time you believe financial abundance is out of your reach, you are saying, “I don’t deserve.”
Self-Love also has a voice.
It sounds like speaking back to the inner critic who only knows the language of self-loathing. It sounds like…
I am capable.
My instincts are trustworthy.
I’m strong enough.
I’m more than worthy.
I deserve abundance.
From this place, the Universe responds. And from the other place the Universe also responds! We can build on the confidence, or build on the doubt. It’s our choice. It’s a matter of choosing to create the energy that we want more of.
Much Love,
Kristy
P.S. ~ And if you can’t find your way out of self-loathing, but are so ready to begin the journey to self-love, jump over here to check out all the ways I may be able to help.
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