One of the things I most love about my work is that it’s not so much work as it is a fascination to me.

I’m a voracious reader and a lot of what I read is in the area of transformational coaching or transpersonal psychology. My work is what I do for fun. That’s a beautiful combination, when I do remember the days of hating my work so badly I could barely get out of bed in the morning. (Read Stark Raving Zen: A Memoir of Coming Alive for that story.)

To stay expansive, I like to read various spiritual perspectives. I think it encourages my mind to stay elastic rather than rolling down the road in the same old tire tracks. For me, stagnancy is intolerable.

An excellent read, one of my bookshelf classics, is “If the Buddha Got Stuck” by Charlotte Kasl, PhD.  Brilliant, entertaining, and conceptually easy to follow, I feel compelled to write a Monday post inspired by this book today. The truth is, Mondays tend to invoke feelings of stuckism (yes, I’ve declared that a word) for many people who desire deep change.

So, in honor of Mondays, a day that often is a catalyst for declaring feelings of “enough of this”, I’m summarizing the book in 10 easy steps. The 10 points are hers; the short musings are mine.

To Get Unstuck:

1.)    Do not demand perfection.

Executive coach Michael Vandermark says perfectionism is another word for cowardice. I’m not sure I’d reduce it to those terms, but it’s true that Perfectionism blooms from a fear of failure, plain and simple. The fact is nobody cares if an idea right out of the starting gate is perfect. Nobody. If that were the case, innovation wouldn’t exist. No great idea starts out being even remotely close to perfect. Just stepping forward is all that matters. The perfection is in the courage to try; to attempt.

2.)    Have realistic expectations, be flexible, and start with small goals.

Somebody said to me this weekend, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Enough said.

3.)    Start with whatever is easiest.

Oldest (and smartest) strategy in the book…On the to-do list, always check off the simplest task first. Then the next. And the next. The movement forward builds momentum. (Oh that glorious dopamine!) Our mind is easily satisfied; it just needs to feel the exhilaration of movement.

4.)    Get help from a friend or be near other people.

Yes. Learn to ask for help. This is not easy for many Highly Sensitive People. The truth is, even for the most introverted, being around the positive energy of others is fuel for our souls and our psyches. (Note the detail, positive energy…If being around certain people sucks your energy, if they are not supportive, or downright discouraging of your ideas = find new people.)

5.)    Readjust your goals.

If you’re repeatedly not meeting your goals, there’s nothing wrong with you, there’s something wrong with your goals! Reassess.

6.)    Stay focused on the big picture!

Don’t get mired in the minutia. You don’t have to accomplish all of your goals overnight. Stay connected to your Why. Why is this important to you? Why is it worth your energy? Where do you see yourself on the other side of this creative challenge? How would you like to feel every day?

7.)    Hang out with your resistance.

Are you feeling anxiety? Fear? Sit with it. Ask yourself, “Where is this coming from?” and then listen to your body. The answer might be nothing you’ve expected! If you can’t yet identify the origin of your anxiety then try to listen a bit longer, a bit deeper. Is a random memory coming to you? A flash of symbolism you can’t yet explain? Give yourself the time and space to get to the heart of it. Your body is a somatic genius. It will show you the way with a lot of love and patience (and maybe some professional assistance.) We hold the answers right there inside of us.

8.)    Take one extra step.

Nudge yourself past perceived limitations. If you commit to walking for 30 minutes, walk for 35. It’s about retraining our minds to think a little bigger.

9.)    Do it anyhow. Anxiety and all.

Growth requires us to expand our comfort level. Remaining in a constant safety-zone of comfort actually increases anxiety and stunts achievement, over time. Be gentle with yourself. Speak to yourself as though you’re comforting a child, “I know you’re afraid of failing but let’s give this a shot. You are safe. You can do this. I believe in you.”

10.) Lighten up.

It’s all about connecting to our highest self which is more motivated by joy, fun, and laughter than anything else. Laugh at yourself! Loosen your grip on life. Nobody else is taking us that seriously, why should we? Find the fun, the lunacy, in the journey.

Much Love,

Kristy Sweetland