Highly Sensitive People, due to the neurology of deep processing, have a more challenging job of regulating emotions. Because we feel so deeply, we sometimes have to increase self-awareness by consciously asking ourselves how far into our consciousness we’ve descended, and for how long have we been there?
It’s possible to hang out at one level for too long. Processing a trauma for too long, for example, has been proven to lock us in the physical experience of that trauma. It becomes rumination, which has been found to be re-traumatizing in itself.
To increase self-awareness, you should have–regardless of your propensity for deep processing–a general awareness of three basic levels and how often you’re occupying each. Every level is necessary for maintaining mental health wellness, and no level is superior to another. In fact, we require a healthy balance of all three.
I’ve always pictured these levels as three watery depths and what we might do there.
Visualizing the Three Levels of Consciousness:
Snorkeling ~ This is where we hang out when we’re feeling light and playful, kicking around at the surface of life. This is an hour in an energizing coffee shop, laughing with a friend. This is dancing in your kitchen, making vanilla pancakes while singing with Taylor Swift on your Spotify. This is simple fun, with no agenda other than more fun. It’s watching a silly movie, shopping, sending astrology memes to your best friend. It’s embarking on a quest to find the best gluten free lavender doughnut in your city!
Scuba Diving ~ This is the realm of your concentration, your cognition, your problem-solving skills. This is you having an in-depth conversation about something meaningful to you, with somebody who can flex with you and your interests. This is reading a book that shifts your worldview, that sparks your curiosity and expands your mind. This is writing a book, learning a new language, or practicing the guitar. This is losing yourself in your work.
Deep Sea Exploration ~ At these depths you disappear into the Oneness of the Universe. This is the realm of soul & psyche itself. This is the reorganization of your very DNA. This is a place of silence, of revelation, of sacred demolition where we burn the old to smoldering ashes in order to become something new. This is a meditation retreat, a sacred sunrise journaling practice, a peak experience in nature that changes you to the core. This is connecting to a revelatory dream that you know could alter the course of your life’s direction. This is a full-blown initiatory experience.
When you’re out of balance…
Too much snorkeling and we become emotionally unavailable, shallow, and self-indulgent. (The shadow emotion of snorkeling is apathy and selfishness.)
Too much scuba diving and we become locked in analysis, over-thinking, joylessness, and minutia. (The shadow emotion of scuba diving is anger, impatience, & frustration.)
Too much deep sea diving and we become self-absorbed, emotionally dysregulated, and inaccessible. (The shadow emotion of deep sea diving is overwhelm, hopelessness, & depression.)
When in balance…
When the levels are in balance we have the ability to seamlessly transition from one level to the next and back again. We can see the big picture and where we stand in it. We’re not afraid to have freedom and fun, and we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We can deeply exercise our mind without getting locked there. We can visit the very depth of our soul, gather the medicine, but not stay too long that we block out our own light and exhaust our life’s oxygen.
Right now I’m feeling fairly balanced, but after a particularly tumultuous month, followed by a whirlwind trip to the Grand Canyon, I’m a little too “Deep Sea” right now. (Canyons pull me deep into the depths of my psyche.) I probably need a little more snorkeling at the moment. More fun for the sake of fun, without considering how productive my choices are, or how they’re bettering me in any way, you know?
Can you sense where you are? If so, tell me in the comments! I’d love to hear.
Much Love, Kristy
I just came across your website by “accident” and I’ve already learned more in 2-3 of your blog posts than I have in months/years. I have been on a spiritually healing and self-awareness journey for the serious part of two years (probably more like 7 when I think about it) because I have been feeling seriously STUCK. It’s a whole long/deep story, but it started with the loss of my son followed by more lost loved ones as well as many other changes in life. From that point until now has been a roller coaster of emotions and what I’m now recognizing as a series of band aides and repressions. I have only in the last year learned about HSPs and the probability that I am one. It was through this “Self-Awareness” article and a couple others that I realized I have been repressing so much and burying myself in numbing practices. Now I am in a complete state of what I think might be apathy, which helps explain the stuckness. I came from a Christian/Catholic upbringing and none of the self-awareness or higher consciousness was ever accepted or discuss because only God and Jesus were allowed and anything else had to be from sources pulling you away from them. No wonder I had no understanding of myself. All I can say is “THANK YOU” for your knowledge and openness and for providing answers so many of us have been searching for…
Kara, what a beautiful, honest share. Thank you. I am so happy we’ve connected and you have no idea how I resonate with everything you’ve written here. I feel such kinship with your journey, and with your heart. I just packed up your books to send tomorrow, and when you read Stark Raving Zen you will find many parallels between our paths. I hope you will subscribe to my newsletter so we can stay connected. I am profoundly, deeply sorry for your sorrow and loss. You have tremendous insight, and I know you will find your way out of the stuckness in time. Sending you all the love.