I just finished a great book called Life’s Wake Up Call: The Content to Process Shift by Michael Vandermark. Content vs. Process shifting is about evolving your communication from what you said, to how you said it.

We’ve all experienced the argument, “It’s not what you said, it was the tone of your voice!” With one simple word, for example, “Yes”—we can make a person feel completely heard, loved and understood, or we can make a person feel like a total de-valued idiot.

It’s all energy.

the energy by which we communicate is profoundly important. It’s the difference between coyly slipping someone a neatly folded note, and throwing the same note through their front picture window, tied to a rock. Same words (=same content), highly different delivery (=different process).

Vandermark’s book is designed to make you start evaluating your own communication style in order to become “Process Aware”, rather than being blind to how others perceive you. I think it’s a book worth reading. A teensy bit dry for this flowery transpersonalist, but I like to read the straight-up executive coaching literature every now and then, just to keep myself well-rounded. (As if the Santa Fe red chile enchiladas weren’t doing a well enough job of that!)

Becoming more aware.

One exercise in the book is something so practical and relevant to any situation that I felt compelled to share it. It’s a little corny perhaps, but that’s just my twisted perception. Ultimately, I feel it’s a powerful exercise to practice through conflict. It requires self-evaluation, contemplation, and brutal honesty.

Michael Vandermark calls this the Six Thinking Hats exercise, and it’s based on the practice of reframing, which is looking at a problem in a new or novel way. In essence, he has you consider an issue while visualizing yourself wearing six differently colored hats, one at a time, each hat symbolizing a unique thought process. (When I told my Santa Fe girlfriend about this exercise, she said, “Ooo! Color therapy!” I love Santa Fe.)

The Hats.

The process is easy–think about a current conflict in your life. It can be anything; a simple argument you had with another person, a workplace issue… anything. Then imagine yourself trying on six different hats from six different perspectives.

1.)    The White Hat: 

What are the basic facts? The simple truths of the argument? This is purely informational. Keep it uncomplicated.

2.)    The Red Hat:

What is your intuitive and emotional response to this conflict? This is the “what am I sensing & feeling” hat.

3.)    The Black Hat:

What is the worst case scenario? What would a pessimist say about this conflict? This is to allow your most negative voice to have expression, which teaches us to see that every problem is figure-out-able. This process takes the charge out of the conflict, to help us stop catastrophizing.

4.)    The Yellow Hat:

What is the upside to this conflict? What does your internal optimist have to say about this? Put on a pair of rose-colored glasses with this one. What could the best possible outcome be, just on the other side of this conflict? Don’t be afraid to exaggerate! Have fun with this.

5.)    The Green Hat:

What is a think-outside-the-box, creative solution to this conflict? Something you rarely allow yourself to consider? Brainstorm this. Don’t censor yourself. Get a big pad of presentation paper (this allows you to access your “Big Picture” thinking) and scribble every single thought that comes to you. Follow your energy. Does one idea make you feel particularly good? Dig deeper into that!

6.)    The Blue Hat:

How might an outsider perceive this issue? What if you sought professional advice from a psychologist, consultant, or coach? What would they say? If you were counseling somebody else on this very issue, what would you tell them?

Go Deeper.

Allow yourself to go deep with this exercise. Take your laptop or notebook to a favorite coffee shop and sit there for an hour at least. Bring these different aspects of yourself, these colors, to the forefront of your consciousness; write it out, allow them to have their say.

I haven’t asked him this, but the reason I believe Michael Vandermark uses the colored hats symbolism is because our executive brain functioning does well with categorizing and compartmentalizing. When he has us visualize the different colors of hats, it allows our brain to hit reset and think in a more organized way.

This kind of organization also strengthens our executive functioning in such a way as to build self-awareness which in turn feeds emotional intelligence…which brings us full circle to practicing the art of content vs. process. With greater self awareness, comes greater emotional intelligence, which then allows us to be more cognizant of how we’re showing up in the world, how we’re communicating to others, and how we’re perceiving our own conflicts.

I hope this is useful!

Much Love,

Kristy Sweetland