1.)    Beginner’s Mind. 

I saw a bumper sticker once that said, “Question what you Know”.  For so many years I struggled to attain the absolute answer to everything, (the true mark of a Highly Sensitive Person with an overactive, anxiety-ridden mind). After finally seeing that this way of being was impossible to sustain without killing me, a few years ago I surrendered to the Great Mystery. I threw my hands in the air and proclaimed, “I. Know. Nothing.” What filled that place in me previously occupied by the pursuit of the Universe’s unanswerable questions flowed freedom, expansion, and space to grow. It felt so good to let go. For the control freak that I was, this was the ultimate surrender. This was me telling the Universe, “I trust you. I don’t need all the answers to trust you. I can feel you, and that’s all I need.” I was creating fertile ground to learn, build, and receive. When we’re so jammed full of our own absolute knowing, it leaves little room for exploration. 

2.)    Cultivate Gratitude.

Absolutely essential.  Every experience we have, no matter how painful, has given us the opportunity to become a stronger, more resilient version of ourselves. Through the doorway of adversity comes depth and wisdom. If we continually focus on what is wrong with our lives, it leaves little room for anything else. Like-energy attracts like-energy. Discontent breeds more discontent. Give the Universe a new directive–you’d like to feel something better. Something that actually feels good. Build the blueprint by setting the intention to focus on what you’re grateful for; a few things every day. When we surpass our threshold of feeling run down, besieged with the challenges of life, then it’s time to stop dwelling on them as a strategy. Ruminating on challenges has never lessened the challenge, in fact the research shows the opposite–it renders them heavier. Rumination isn’t action; it’s not designed to change anything. Change the channel to a new frequency. Where is the good happening? It’s there, waiting to be acknowledged. Focusing on that isn’t pollyanna-ish, it’s actually making you a more effective warrior, change-maker, and pathfinder. 

3.)    See a fresh perspective.

When you were a kid did you hang your head off the edge of the bed and pretend the ceiling was the floor? (Come on, you did this too, admit it!) I did it all the time. I grew up in chaos. My beleaguered mom had five children all within a seven year span. She had absolutely no help with anything at home. On any given day our house looked like a war zone, so messy we’d have to create paths to walk through a room.  As my own coping strategy, I’d hang my head over the edge of the couch or my bed or a chair- anything- in order to pretend that the floor of my house was as empty and clean as the expansive white ceiling. I’d imagine walking through all this clean space… it was medicine for me. We never lose the capacity for a new perspective. Our thoughts create our internal reality. See the world from the eagle’s eye perspective, soaring wing to wing with the mountain tops. Visualize yourself standing on the moon, looking down upon planet Earth. If you’re arguing with somebody ask yourself the Buddhist perspective-changing question, “But, what if they’re right?”. 

4.)    Claim Your Power.

No more victim mentality. Please. You’re so powerful. Believe it. Everyone has the choice to transcend their attachment to being the victim. It can take a lot of work, but it can be done. Studies conclusively show that the act of dwelling on the memory of past traumas creates the very same physiological stress as when the trauma actually occurred. Stop. Sure, there is a need to recognize when we’ve truly been victimized; that’s a sacred process which cannot be bypassed. It’s necessary for healing. But this type of victim healing is much different from the chronic toxic victim mentality–navigating every step of our life through the lens of our past wounds. Taking responsibility for nothing. Seeing the worst and blaming everyone else for it. You can make a choice to never again see yourself through the eyes of your wounds alone. Take back your power from those who have harmed you. Move forward without giving all your energy to the past. Believe in yourself enough to create a new reality from this moment forward. Your future self is begging you.

5.)    Schedule Joy.

It’s astonishing how depleted we can become in today’s world. The headlines, the media, the chaos, the talk around the water cooler so often filled with the energy of dread. Combine that with navigating a killer schedule day to day and the tank finds a permanent home on empty. I hear it said, “I don’t have time for the things that bring me joy,” just a resignation to a life lived without energy or vitality. I don’t care what you have to do to make time for the things you absolutely love to do, but find a way to do it. Schedule it in your week like everything else. Go to a movie. Go for a hike with your dog. Spend three hours editing digital photographs. Bake cookies with your kids. Whatever it needs to be, find it and do it, because let me tell you, without joy the Universe has a hard time finding you. Strengthen your beacon by charging up your own spirit. 

Much Love,

Kristy

P.S. ~ Need help with any or all of these facets? Maybe I can help you.

P.P.S. ~ Read my books, The Fascinated Observer, and Stark Raving Zen: A Memoir of Coming Alive for a deep dive into the magic of your potential, and the power of the human spirit.